Random Shots: Words of Wisdom for 1993

R.F. Kampfer

“REALITY IS WHAT doesn’t go away when you stop believing in it.—Phillip K. Dick

“Sex was invented by a clever venereal disease.”—David Cronenberg

“Shall I compare thee to a Summer day?”—William Shakespeare. (He could write this because he never worked in a foundry.)

“When two men say they’re Jesus, one of them must be wrong.”—Dire Straits

“A socialist group that is serious about reaching the working class will produce its literature in a format that fits inside a lunch box.”—R.F. Kampfer

Blowing In the Wind

BILL CLINTON ADMIUED to smoking marijuana at Oxford, but said he didn’t inhale. He thereby lost votes on both sides of the issue. The British, of course, often mix their grass with tobacco, as you might expect from people who put milk in their tea.

How long has it been since Kampfer toked up? What time is it?

This being the Age of Ecology, how come nobody is selling cigarettes made with unbleached paper?
Most politicians point whichever way the wind blows, but George Bush tried to point in all directions at once—just in case the wind shifted.

The trouble with term limitation: Politicians will have to steal much faster to provide for their retirement. (And are candidates worse than they used to be, or do we just know more about them?)

Ironies of Life

IT’S IRONIC THAT homosexual activity in the military has always been tolerated, so long as the pretense is maintained that it’s just a temporary expedient for those times when women are not conveniently available or affordable. Check out “From Here to Eternity” or “The Naked and the Dead.”

People will never get along as long as they fail to realize that nobody is 100% anything—racially or sexually.

J. Edgar Hoover may have been homosexual, but the gay movement would just as soon not claim him, much as they also overlook SA Stabschef Ernst Rohm.

Q. Why don’t men talk to each other about their feelings? A. Because if they admitted to having any personal problems, they would be expected to do something about them.

One way in which humanity is fundamentally divided is between people who listen to music as a full-time activity and those who treat it as an accompaniment to something else, like pickles. Unfortunately they usually wind up married to each other.

Ever notice how, when lawyers identify themselves, they almost always qualify it by adding, “but not that kind of lawyer”?

There used to be a lot of nostalgia for the 19th century extended family, with three or four generations living under one roof. Thanks to the present-day shortage of good jobs and affordable housing, some people are discovering how much fun it really is.

Try to imagine an encounter between your typical suburban gardener, and his or her ancestors who crossed the Atlantic in steerage to avoid having to grub in the dirt.

May-June 1993, ATC 44