Random Shots: Wages and Other Minima

R.F. Kampfer

CLINTON AND DOLE have compromised by agreeing to raise the minimum wage to $10 per hour, to be paid in monopoly money.

Opponents of raising the minimum wage — some of whom want to abolish it altogether — argue that the fast-food joints won’t be able to hire as many burger-flippers. They overlook the fact that workers with bigger paychecks buy more hamburgers.

Supreme Ironies

THAT SUPREME COURT case barely a decade ago, which upheld Georgia’s anti-sodomy law — now cited as an argument against the legalization of gay marriage — involved, if memory serves, a hetero couple and a married one at that.

Back in the days of legal segregation, separate-but-equal was never equal.

Republicans are trying to revive the anti-missile missile. Yet experience has shown that the country is most vulnerable to the bomb-rigged Ryder rental truck. We need Star Nails, not Star Wars.

Kampfer’s Kiddie Korner

REAL FAMILY PLANNING would be scheduling the babies to arrive during the summer, so those messy birthday parties can be held outdoors.

How is that you find pre-pubescent soccer tams voluntarily running around in weather conditions that would cause the average chain gang to balk?

Madonna has picked a name for her latest project. Baby Jesus, of course. We are making this up.

Hippity Hop

HONEST(?) JOHNS CELEBRATED Easter this year by holding a bunny barbecue. Bring the kids.

Did you know that in some states, rabbit has to be sold with feet on? That’s so you know you’re not getting cat.

Class War Bulletins

DIFFERENT CONCLUSIONS HAVE been drawn from recent defeats suffered by the labor movement. For the bureaucrats it’s “don’t strike.” For the workers it’s “don’t lose.”

The protagonist’s dilemma in Ken Loach’s magnificent film on the Spanish Civil War, “Land and Liberty,” reminds some of us in the auto plants of having had more trouble with the union leadership than with the company.

Drips and Dregs

THOSE DRIPPY PITA sandwiches must be selling so cheaply because the chain is subsidized by the local dry-cleaners.

One advantage of those camouflage uniforms is that it’s harder for officers to spot dirt during inspections. Military uniforms were traditionally designed to be maintenance-intensive, on the theory that scrubbing and polishing would keep troops busy and out of trouble.

ATC 63, July-August 1996